


you put your arms around me and i'm home

by stellalunar



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: (a little), Angst, Attempt at Humor, Chaptered, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Hugs, Jisung Being the Loving Caring Human He Is, Jisung Giving Them Hugs When They Need It, Kind of Snarky, Platonic Relationships, Them Realizing, They Need to Hug Him Too
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-28
Updated: 2019-06-25
Packaged: 2020-02-07 06:59:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18615505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stellalunar/pseuds/stellalunar
Summary: 8 times Jisung was there to hug them and one time they returned the favor.





	1. Chan

**Author's Note:**

> Weekly/every few days updates lmao

 

Jisung doesn't marvel at a lot of things. 

To be completely honest, it takes a lot to awe him completely. He thinks maybe he owes that partly to that little jealousy that's still beaded in him somewhere, but most of the time he gets to keep that under control. Still, impressing him is a factor that doesn't come easily. 

He's only ever really been awed a few times. Changbin, for example. That hadn't been a good kind of awe, though. That had been the kind of awe that had turned Jisung green all over and pinned down this angry little ball of jealous flames in him that had taken so, so long to water and die out. 

Nowadays, Jisung's glad he's overcome that. He's not sure being an idol would have been the right suit for him if all he did was go around getting jealous at everyone better than him. Which, frankly, is a lot of people. It's just that it takes a bit to impress him, even now, so awe is not something that comes easy to him. 

But Jisung marvels at Chan. 

Chan is a force of nature that deserves all the awe it radiates. Jisung really thinks Chan's motor powered, or battery powered, or something superhuman, sometimes, because he really can't understand how he works. Chan never seems to run out of power. He's almost always on top of everything and it takes so much to knock him down, enough that Jisung reserves himself from breaking down in front of Chan simply because he doesn't think he has the right to. 

Not with Chan, at least. 

Chan is a lot of things. He's selfless, naturally born to lead others because what they want is always prioritized to what he wants. He's talented, unnaturally so in that matter. Though it's often overlooked, Chan excels in categories much more than he himself does, and he works to better himself even though Jisung sees absolutely no need for him to do so. He's smart, quick to fix what's needed to be fixed and on top of finding solutions to things that aren't even problems yet. 

Chan is a lot of things, but self-preserving is not one of those things. Because while Chan glorifies himself in a whole lot of things, taking care of himself is something that he fails to do, and repeatedly so. 

Jisung has tried, time and time again, to get Chan to sit, to stop his motor from overheating, to stop his whirring brain for just a second to collect everything. It barely ever works, since Chan seems to find no time to give his motor a break or let his thoughts stop scrambling for a second. Jisung doesn't approve, but much of the time there's nothing he can do before Chan is out the door again, sprinting his way to do whatever his heart's telling him he's got to. 

The studio is oddly cold at times, and tonight proves to be one of those times. 

Maybe the heater's stopped working, or the window's cracked open, or the little wooden room just doesn't want to become any warmer. Either way, none of them have the heart to get up and check. 

Chan's sitting at his monitor, a position Jisung's learned to become familiar with. Changbin and Jisung are huddled under a worn blanket they keep under the desk for emergencies. Technically, the studio isn't theirs--it should be open for everyone to use. It's just that it's become accustomed to be theirs, so everyone else at the company tends to leave it alone. It's almost always occupied by the three of them, anyways. 

"Wanna switch?" Changbin whispers. He holds out his notepad with scribbled lines and gestures to Jisung's, and they make quick work of switching lyrics to read over what they've each written. 

"Guys, I think--" Jisung and Changbin both look up from their work to see Chan's chair swiveled to face them. There's an odd look on his face, one that seems faraway, like his heart's not in what he's doing tonight. "I think I'm gonna call it a night early." 

Odd, Jisung thinks. Odd because Chan hates calling it a night early. Chan works into the night whenever he can, finding the hours before dawn the most productive for him. Not the healthiest way to work, but the best way to work for him. And Changbin and Jisung respect that. 

"Sure," Changbin speaks up first. The studio is cold, Jisung thinks, and maybe it isn't just the heater's fault. "Get some sleep, okay?" 

Chan gives them a tight-lipped smile and a nod as he drapes his winter jacket over his shoulders. "See you at the dorms?" He's powered off his monitor and his headphones sit comfortably around his neck, the wire dipping around his collarbones and disappearing into the pocket of his sweatpants. 

"Yeah," Changbin affirms, "Night." 

And then Chan is gone, taking some of the precious heat they'd had in the studio with him. Odd, Jisung thinks again. 

"Ji, let's look over this part again," Changbin taps Jisung back into reality, and Jisung realizes he'd been staring at the door long after Chan's departure. He flicks his eyes back to where Changbin is pointing out a couple of lines on the sheet of paper, mumbling something about altering the syllables so it flows better. 

The third time Jisung zones out, Changbin sighs and gives him a small smile. "Jisung, go home." 

It's such a direct command that Jisung startles at the words, turning to give Changbin a surprised look. Changbin probably realizes that he's hurt, because he flaps his hands quickly and sighs. "No, I mean, you--you're not here." 

Jisung blinks owlishly. "Not...here?" 

"I mean, you're here, but you're--you're up there, you know?" Changbin reaches forward and taps his finger lightly against Jisung's temple. "You're up in there, not here with me." 

Jisung lets out an exhale and folds his hands in his lap tiredly. "I'm sorry," He mumbles. He glances at the door again, and Changbin nudges his shoulder gently. 

"That's okay. Go home, I can finish up by myself tonight. You're keeping yourself up for no reason." 

Jisung sits still for a moment before taking a deep breath and pushing himself off the floor, letting the blanket fall around Changbin's shoulders only and slide off of his thighs. Changbin doesn't say a word as he packs up, choosing to continue erasing portions of his lyrics as Jisung sticks loose sheets of paper in his duffel bag and shoves his pen into his pocket. 

"I'll--I'll head out, then," Jisung says softly, offering Changbin a smile when he looks up. He hovers by the door until Changbin nods at him, hint of a smile twitching at his lips like he knows something Jisung doesn't. 

"Oh, and Jisung?" Jisung pauses halfway through pushing the door open, "Check on hyung for me, yeah?" 

He knows. Changbin's not stupid, he's probably realized that Chan's the reason Jisung hasn't been able to pay attention. Still, the concern feels nice. "I will. Night, hyung." 

It's a windy night. Jisung pulls his denim jacket closer around himself as he shuffles home, slightly unnerved by the fact that he'd forgotten his beanie on the desk. He's tired, he realizes, and then he wonders how tired Chan is. Lately, it's seemed like his motor's been running a little lower on energy. Like that everliving battery's been lacking the usual charge it has inside of him. Jisung shakes his head against the wind and walks faster, his duffel bag rocking against his side as he speeds up. 

The air in the dorm is stale, much like it always is so late at night. There's usually a light on when one of them--or usually more than one--stays out late, just so said member or members won't trip over their own feet in the dark. The dorm is dark tonight, though, and Jisung figures Chan turned it off mindlessly when he came home or they just simply forgot to leave one on. He kicks off his shoes and heads to his own room first. 

Dark. Silent. Jeongin's fast asleep, his phone still clutched in his hand and his headphones hanging on chest. Jisung drops his bag on his bed and pulls the phone out of Jeongin's grasp lightly, wrapping his headphones around it and plugging it into Jeongin's charger when it flashes eight percent battery. 

Jisung shrugs off his jacket and feels his way through the hallway as he heads for the four-person room all the way at the end of the hall. He can't be completely sure, but he's got a sneaking suspicion that Chan never actually went to sleep. 

Minho's curtain isn't closed, Jisung realizes as he enters the room, and the reason he can even see that is because Minho is fully clothed and wide awake, watching something on his laptop. The device brings a soft glow to the room, white light that makes it seem the slightest bit more alive. 

"Jisung?" 

"Why are you still awake, hyung?" Jisung whispers, moving lightly through the room to stand by Minho's bed. "Why are you?" Minho answers, pushing down his laptop a bit so he's focusing on Jisung rather than the screen. 

"I just got home." 

"Of course you did," Minho says lightly, shaking his head. "What can I do for you?" 

Jisung glances up to the seemingly empty bunk above Minho's and figures there's no harm in asking. "Is Chan-hyung up there?" 

Minho shakes his head. "He came in to drop his stuff off a while back, but--" 

"You two are so loud, Jesus Christ," Seungmin pokes out of his bunk and glares at the both of them, "I can hear you through my earplugs, for God's sake." 

"We were whispering!" Minho and Jisung protest at exactly the same time and turn to look at each other in surprise when they realize what they've just done. Seungmin shakes his head as he retreats into his bunk, "Insufferable potato heads, the both of you," he grumbles. 

"--but," Minho continues, glaring at Seungmin's bunk, "He walked back out right after. I think he's in the living room." 

"I didn't see him though?" Jisung phrases it like a question. Minho's about to answer when Seungmin's head pokes out of his bunk again and this time, with a softer look on his face. "He's in the bathroom, shut up and go to sleep." 

"Gosh," Minho groans, flapping in Seungmin's general direction, "Go away, you ass." 

"Swear jar," Seungmin reminds before disappearing into his bunk with a smirk. 

"O-kay," Jisung says slowly, "Night, hyung." 

"Yeah," Minho flaps at him, too, just in a generally nicer way than he'd flapped at Seungmin. 

Jisung backs out of the room and feels his way through the hallway a second time. It's not like he's extremely worried or anything, it's just that he wants to make sure Chan is okay before he goes to bed. He doesn't think he'll be able to sleep even if he's only marginally concerned about one of their wellbeings. 

Jisung stops when he feels the cold bathroom handle metal under his hand and he knocks quietly. There's no light coming from under the door, but when there's no reply Jisung pushes against it gently and it gives way, unlocked. 

"Hyung?" Jisung steps into the bathroom and flicks on the light. 

Jisung finds Chan, alright. Finds him huddled up on the floor, his left hand cradled against chest and a blank look on his face. 

"Chan-hyung?" Jisung questions. As he moves closer, he finds little shards of glass decorating the floor and he jumps back when a piece digs into his foot slightly. "Ow, what--oh, shoot." 

The glass dish that used to hold the soap sits on the floor in thousands of shattered pieces that glitter menacingly under the bathroom light. A few of the bigger pieces of glass are dangerously close to where Chan sits, and Jisung draws in a sharp breath before hopping over the brunt of the mess and tiptoeing to Chan's other side, where the glass count is much less. 

Jisung crouches gently, brushing away the offensive material as best as he can before waddling forward so he's hovering right over Chan. Up close, he can see why exactly Chan's holding his hand so gingerly--his fingers are littered with bleeding red cuts, and putting two and two together is what has Jisung realizing what series of events had probably occurred. 

"Okay," Jisung says softly, "Alright. Let's start here." He gets up without waiting for a reply, though he's not sure he'd have gotten one anyways. Getting to the cabinet is an ordeal that isn't fun to face and Jisung has to brush various chips of glass from his heels by the time he's made it there, but he can't really bring himself to care much about the stinging it brings. He reaches over the counter gingerly and opens the door, finding the bottle of rubbing alcohol and the packet of cotton pads fairly quickly. 

He snags the box of bandaids on the lower shelf before the door swings shut and makes his way back carefully, much more successfully avoiding the glass this time around. 

Jisung crouches in front of Chan a second time and reaches out gently, tugging his left hand from Chan's grasp. The cuts aren't deep generally, but a couple of them are long and at least one of them is deeper than he'd like to see. 

"What happened?" Jisung asks after a few beats, though he's got a pretty good idea. He lets some of the alcohol sink into one of the cotton pads before bringing it to Chan's skin and brushing it gently over the open wounds. 

"Knocked it over," Chan says quietly after a few seconds. His eyes are trained on Jisung's fingers moving quickly across his, but Jisung swears he can see teardrops dancing on his eyelashes. 

"That's okay," Jisung replies softly, "Do you wanna tell me what else happened?" 

He doesn't get an answer for a couple of minutes, so Jisung purses his lips and sets the soaked cotton pad down on the floor, moderately satisfied with his work. He reaches for the box of bandaids and pulls out a few, peeling the paper wrapper off the first one. 

"I saw a dog today," Chan says suddenly, and Jisung pretends the voice didn't startle him as he wraps Chan's pinky.

"Yeah?" Jisung asks softly, settling the edge of the bandaid on top of the first. 

"It was a puppy. And it was white, and it had brown spots all over. I saw it on the way to the studio." 

Jisung bites his lip. He wants to say something, but he's scared he'll say the wrong thing. Because though all Chan speaks of is the puppy, he's pretty sure there's more to it. So he settles for silence as he unwraps the next bandaid, pulling off the paper tabs and moving to cover his next cut. 

"It--they let me pet it. It was--It was really cute, Sungie. It kind of looked like you." 

Jisung bites back a smile, smoothing the bandaid over Chan's split nail and rubbing it softly. "Isn't Seungmin supposed to be the puppy, hyung?" 

"Fuck what everything's _supposed_ to be," Chan says firmly, but Jisung hears his voice shake slightly. He pauses in his actions, holding back the urge to remind Chan about their swear jar rule. 

"It--it reminded me of my puppy, you know?" Chan whispers next, losing control of his voice rapidly as he speaks, "They were taking it to the park just because they could. I--I used to do that. _We_ used to do that." 

Oh. Oh, it makes sense now. Jisung gets it now. It hurts, hearing Chan talk about it because he's never open about it, but Jisung gets it. He gets the 'we'. 

"Used to take her to the park, me and my brother and sometimes my sister when she wanted to. I--it was just really _cute_ , you know?" Chan's voice breaks, and he reaches up to wipe aggressively at his cheeks with the hand Jisung isn't holding. 

Cute. Jisung doesn't think it really matters to Chan how cute the scene was. In the moment, Jisung doesn't think Chan really cared about how cute the puppy was. But if calling it cute is what is helping Chan hold himself together, Jisung won't take that away from him. 

He gets it. He's felt it before, but now, in the moment, he doesn't think he has the right to feel it. Jisung doesn't think he has the right to ever be sad about missing his family. 

Homesickness. Such a broad term, something that's often just seen as extraordinarily childish. Jisung thinks that's all completely bullshit, for lack of better word. Maybe his parents are a few long stretches of miles away, a good number of hours, but Chan's live across the ocean. Chan's live a whole country away, miles of water separating them. 

And Chan, he's strong. He's strong in front of all of them. He's there for Felix when Felix breaks down, he's there for the rest of them when some of their parents literally live in the same town. Chan hates being a burden for other people, and Jisung just needs a way to let him know that he's absolutely not. Jisung can't remember the last time he'd ever told any of them he'd been homesick, simply because he never has. Strange enough that Chan's let Jisung come this far into his vulnerable moment. 

"You miss them?" Jisung says quietly, sitting back on his haunches and resting Chan's hand back in his lap. 

Chan nods slowly, scrubbing at his cheeks barely fast enough to catch the rapidly falling tears. "I miss them so fucking bad," Chan forces out, voice cracking and giving way to the flow of emotions he finally lets free. 

Swear jar, Jisung thinks. Shut up, Jisung. 

And so Jisung sits on the tiles, watching Chan sob into his hands with tears threatening to fall from his own eyes. This is new to him. He doesn't know what to do, and for Jisung that's an issue. 

With Felix, Jisung knows what to do. He's helped Felix before. With Felix, it's cuddles and chocolate and FaceTimes with his sisters. With the rest of them, Jisung knows what to do. With Minho, it's silence and tight clutches on each other's hands. With Changbin, it's aggressive lyric writing until the anger breaks and becomes emotions and then it's shoulder rubs and smiles. With Woojin, it's stuffed animals and sleep. With Hyunjin, it's physical touch and movies and silly jokes. With Seungmin, it's stupid childhood stories and cute notes. With Jeongin, it's verbal affection and food. 

With Chan, Jisung is wordless. At a loss for action. He doesn't know what to do. Doesn't know what Chan needs. 

"Can--can I give you a hug?" Jisung whispers, and it seems so loud in that crowded bathroom. Seems so suffocating when all there is to break the silence is Chan's distress. 

Chan lets out a shaky breath and nods once, and Jisung surges forward because the one thing he can do is give a hug. One thing he knows how to do.

Jisung is smaller than Chan, shorter and a heck of a lot skinnier, but Chan seems so much smaller in the dimly lit bathroom. Jisung closes his arms around Chan and lets him rest his head on his shoulder, lets Chan cry into the collar of his shirt, rocks Chan back and forth and stays silent because he doesn't think words are what Chan needs right now. 

They stay like that for a few long seconds, a few long minutes, a few long hours, Jisung doesn't know. Time loses meaning when all he knows is to patch up whatever's breaking inside Chan. 

"Can you tell me about the park, hyung?" Jisung asks in Chan's ear, and he doesn't let go as Chan tells watery stories about spraining his wrist in the sandbox and losing his brother in the jungle gym. 

He listens as Chan breaks out stories about nearly drowning in the swimming pool and running from an alligator that had actually just been a pile of trash bags floating in the water. He even listens when Chan breaks into English and he can only follow about a fifth of what he's saying, but he gets the general gist of it and he lets Chan speak in the language he finds most comfortable. 

Jisung only pulls away when Chan stops talking and his tears stop adding to the damp patch on Jisung's collarbones and gives Chan the biggest smile he can muster. "Feel better?" 

Chan lets out a watery laugh, looking away and biting his lip, hard. "Did--you even understand any of that?" He asks, broken up with coughs, and Jisung gives him a grin, tilting his head. "As much as I needed to." 

"You didn't, then." 

"Absolutely clueless," Jisung agrees, and Chan laughs again, less teary this time. "Your---shirt, I'm sorry--" Chan gestures to Jisung's soaked collar, and Jisung waves him off lightly. "I never liked it anyways." 

Chan nods, wiping at his swollen eyes again. Jisung stands up decisively, brushing himself off and holding out his hands for Chan to take. "Come on, up. Up up up--no, you don't get to stay on the bathroom floor all night--up, come on," Jisung pulls up Chan slowly and wraps an arm around his shoulders. "Careful, don't get glass in your feet, that's not fun--" Jisung does his best to guide the two of them around the glass shards. 

He leads them out of the bathroom and into the hallway. He completely misses the shadowy figure leaning on the wall outside the bathroom. 

"You--passed my room, Ji--" Chan says when Jisung purposefully walks past his room. "I know," Jisung says, pushing open the door to Felix, Changbin, and Woojin's room. 

"Jisung?" Chan questions, and Jisung claps a hand across Chan's mouth. "Just trust me, hyung. I can't--I can't give you everything you need, but someone else can." 

"What?" 

Jisung won't explain it fully to Chan, but Jisung, as much as he can try, is not what Chan needs. Chan needs home. And home is not possible, so Chan needs the closest he can get to it. And frankly, the closest he can get to home is--well, fast asleep in the bunk under Woojin. 

"Felix," Jisung whispers, leaning over to shake Felix awake. When Chan doesn't completely freak out at his waking one of the other members up, Jisung knows he gets it. Jisung knows for once, he's letting himself fall into what he needs. 

"Hm," Felix mumbles, rolling over and opening his eyes. "Ji?" Felix's voice is somehow even deeper at three in the morning. Something no one had thought possible. 

"Yeah, it's me," Jisung confirms, and Felix yawns before propping himself up on an elbow and forcing his eyes to stay open. "Is something wrong? Are you okay?" 

"I'm fine," Jisung says softly, and he tugs Chan forward so he falls into Felix's line of sight. Jisung knows the moment Felix sees Chan's swollen eyes, because his own eyes nearly pop out of his head and he sits up completely. "What--" 

"Can Chan-hyung sleep with you tonight?" 

Felix blinks slowly, looking from Chan to Jisung and back to Chan and back to Jisung before nodding quickly and moving over as fast as he possibly can. "Yeah--yeah, 'course, I--yeah."

He helps Jisung pull Chan down onto his bed and lets Chan pull his legs up under the blanket and press himself against Felix. He's crying again, Jisung thinks, he's shaking already against Felix and Felix looks genuinely terrified. 

"I can't--I can't bring you home, hyung," Jisung says quietly, "But Lix is the closest I can get you." 

And then Felix gets it too, his face morphing into understanding and then a frown pulling down his lips when he realizes what's going on. "Oh, no," He says softly, and Jisung nods, pursing his lips. "Make sure he sleeps, okay, Lix?" 

"I--yeah. I--I will, yeah," Felix mumbles, already pulling Chan into his arms and rubbing his back gently. 

And with that, Jisung turns and leaves, pulling the door shut gently behind him before leaning against the wall and exhaling heavily. 

"You did good." 

Jisung's eyes pop open and he looks straight ahead into Minho's face. He clutches his heart for a second, breathing heavily, "Jesus fuck, you scared me," he breathes. 

"Swear jar," Minho grins, "And sorry." 

"I didn't--I don't know if I did enough--" Jisung ignores Minho's swear jar statement. "You--you heard?" 

Minho nods curtly. "I didn't hear you walk back from the bathroom, so I came to check that you guys were okay. I heard everything. You did whatever you could, and frankly, you did way better than any of us could have. I'm--proud of you, Sungie." 

"I'm--I would've slept with him, but--" 

"--but you're not what he needs right now. You did the right thing," Minho cuts him off, "He needs Lix right now, and that's what you gave him. And a hug, but I'm guessing you did that too." 

"Okay," Jisung breathes, "okay." 

"Now go to sleep, loser. It's three in the morning." 

"Yeah," Jisung says softly, "Yeah, I will." 

Minho disappears into his room with a tiny wave and Jisung follows suit, walking into his own room. He hadn't realized how tired he was until he actually gets on top of his bed and crashes right there, forgetting all about the glass in the bathroom.

The next morning, he's shaken awake by Minho, who's literally crushing his ribs by making himself comfortable on his torso. "It's time to get up, dork," Minho says, grinning, and Jisung jolts up when he remembers last night. "The glass--" 

"Relax, I got it after you fell asleep. No one knows. Well, at least, they haven't realized the soap dish is gone yet." 

"Uh? Guys? Did you know someone stole our soap dish?" Hyunjin calls hesitantly from the bathroom, and Minho giggles. "Well, there goes that." 

Jisung falls back against his pillow and sighs heavily. "Why are you so drained?" Minho asks, sticking his face way too close to Jisung's. Jisung bats it away and turns over. "Let me sleep," He whines, and Minho sighs. "You are so--" 

"Jisung?" 

One, that's not Minho's voice, Jisung realizes, and two, oh, that's Chan's voice. He jolts up again and Minho literally has to dive forward to save him from smacking his head against the wall. "Careful, dumbass!" 

"Swear jar," Chan says, leaning against the door frame with an amused smile on his face. 

"You have zero right," Jisung narrows his eyes at Chan, pointing accusingly at him while Minho complains that he was using the word dumbass in an endearing way and it's not like he was cursing Jisung out. 

Chan puts his hands up, the smile still on his face. "I paid my dues," he says. "I play by the rules here. Anyways," the smile drops and he looks guilty for a second. "I just wanted to say, I'm--thanks. You know, for last night." 

"I think Felix did more work for you than I did," Jisung says, falling back against his pillow. 

"No, really, thank you. I--I needed that, in the bathroom. I really needed it." He offers Jisung one last smile before pushing himself off the door frame and disappearing down the hallway. 

And that's when Jisung gets it, as Minho trails after him mumbling about unfair pay as he fishes for quarters in his pocket. 

Maybe Felix needs chocolate and FaceTime calls, maybe Woojin needs stuffed bears and sleep. Chan? 

Chan needs hugs, listening ears, and a piece of home. 

And maybe Jisung can only provide two of those things, but he figures that's damn well close enough. 

(Swear jar, maybe. Jisung still wonders whether damn is considered a bad word.)


	2. Changbin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Changbin is a dumb pickled frog toe and Jisung's just exasperated and extremely unimpressed, but he loves Changbin anyways.

There are only five members older than Jisung in the band. 

Three members younger, and five members older. It's funny, though, because sometimes those four eldest members can be so ridiculously stupid that Jisung forgets that they're the least bit older than them. Sometimes, Jisung thinks, it's like the logical side of their brains shuts down and then they're left to motor on that little stupidity chip inserted inside them instead. 

Not that Jisung doesn't have his own stupidity chip. He does. Probably worse than all eight of his members', to be honest. It's just that because he's become so accustomed to his stupidity chip, he's learned when it's okay to let it power his brain and when it's not okay to. The rest of his band? Not so much. 

Because they barely use their stupidity chips, they use them to full potential on the rare occasions that they do so. Which is why it's utterly exasperating when Jisung has to sit there and remind himself that the human being trying to make gummy bear and Sprite pancakes in the kitchen is Minho, two years older than him, and not his bratty little four-year-old cousin. 

The stupidity that the four eldest introduce is a new level of stupidity. Jisung's watched Chan try to steal a stray cat from a park by sticking it under his jacket and pretending his stomach was meowing because he'd eaten the wrong chicken. He's watched Minho try to make a tower of whipped cream to the ceiling by himself in the kitchen at four in the morning. He's even watched Woojin go crazy and color fifteen pages out of the Barbie coloring book Hyunjin had gotten Jeongin as a gag Christmas gift. 

(He'd sat there quietly and watched Woojin color Belle's dress _bright blue._ A monstrosity, if you ask him.) 

The only one Jisung would like to say has kept it mostly together so far is Changbin. Emphasis on mostly. 

(The maple syrup and peanut butter incident, while relatively less destructive, hadn't been a fun one for Jisung and Hyunjin to clean up on sleep-deprived Changbin's behalf.) 

Until a night that comes around in early August. Summer doesn't usually give them much trouble this late in the year, despite the blaring heat in the daytime. After the sun goes down, it becomes pleasant outside, cool enough to take a walk despite the humidity. 

Every once in a while, though, the weather will decide it's had enough of being nice to them and bring around raging winds and pouring rain. Which is exactly why Chan hurries Jisung out of the studio earlier than usual that night, his phone clutched worriedly in his hand and urgency in his movements. 

"Come on, Jisungie," Chan shifts feet nervously, staring at the tracker he's got open on his phone screen. "We're cutting it real close, we're gonna get caught in the storm." 

Jisung zips up his backpack and shifts it onto one shoulder, shoving his hair under his hairband and pulling his hood up over it. Chan checks one last time to make sure he's powered off the monitor before turning off his phone and shoving it in his pocket. 

They bow politely at the half-asleep woman behind the front desk as they leave, letting the door fall shut behind them. Tonight, the air is humid, thick with the threat of rain to come. Already the wind is strong enough to blow Jisung's hood off his hair and onto his shoulders, and Chan tucks an arm around him as they walk quickly. 

"Slow down," Jisung laughs, halfway through their walk home. "Your legs are longer than mine." 

"Sorry," Chan slows his stride, letting Jisung jog to catch up with him. "I'm just trying to avoid getting caught in the rain--gosh, I hope Bin is home already." 

"He left a while ago, I'm sure hyung made it back already," Jisung reassures Chan as they turn the corner. The sky is shifting from navy blue to a malicious gray as they walk, and Chan pulls out his phone to check the storm tracker app again. Though the screen is tilted away from him, Jisung can just about make out the red spreading quickly towards their town--explains why Chan is so worried. 

Chan puts the phone away and quickens his stride again. Jisung sighs and breaks into a light jog. He doesn't have the heart to ask Chan to slow down again. He does after a few minutes anyways, seemingly realizing Jisung lagging behind and tugging an arm around his shoulders again. They speed-walk together this time, at a pace the both of them can keep. 

"You alright, Jisungie?" Chan asks after a few minutes of silence. Jisung can see their dorm approaching as they turn the last corner. 

"Yeah, why?" Jisung turns his head so he's looking at Chan. 

"You've been so quiet today," Chan shrugs. He fishes in his pockets for the keys as they head up the driveway, dropping his arm from around Jisung's shoulders. 

"Yeah, sorry. Just an off-day, I guess," Jisung says quietly, shoving his hands in his pockets as he waits. Chan nods in understanding, ruffling his hair gently before sticking the key in the lock and twisting it about. 

"Let me know if you need anything, yeah?" Chan pulls open the door. "Yeah," Jisung says, stepping in when Chan holds the door open for him. 

Woojin's waiting on the couch when they get back. His legs are pulled up under him and there's some new book he's been reading on his lap, but he looks up at them and smiles when he hears the door open and close. 

"Beat the storm." 

Jisung kicks off his shoes as Chan makes conversation with Woojin, dropping his bag by the door. Taking it all the way to his and Jeongin's bedroom at the end of the hall seems like a lot of effort when he's honestly ready to drop dead. 

"Did Changbin come back?" Jisung hears Chan ask as he steps into the kitchen. The answer he gets from Woojin is not a good one. 

"He called and said the subway got backed up because of everyone trying to get out of the storm, so he's walking. He said he'd be about half an hour, like--twenty minutes ago." 

Jisung barely comprehends the rest of the sentence through his half-fuzzed out brain, but he walks into the kitchen and collapses onto one of the stools. He's oddly tired today. Strange, because he'd actually slept for a decent number of hours yesterday. Still, Jisung chalks it up to it being an off-day. He has those more often these days, anyways. 

"You want something, Ji?" Jisung swivels his stool in Chan's direction to see him gesturing at the fridge, a box of strawberries in his hand. He shakes his head after a few seconds, turning back to check the time. 

And then the first clap of thunder hits, and the rain starts to fall. It doesn't even trickle, just straight begins to pour in sheets of water. Chan grimaces, looking out the window and pursing his lips worriedly. 

"Ah, shit," he mutters, picking up his phone to check for any notifications, assumedly from Changbin. "He's gonna get soaked." 

"Should I call hyung?" Jisung mumbles a minute later, fumbling for his phone from his hoodie pocket. Chan waves a hand at him. 

"It's okay, he should be back soon. If he's not here in the next ten minutes we'll call him." 

As if on cue, though, the door swings open as a bolt of lightning glimmers through the window glass, revealing a soaking wet Changbin with a sheepish smile on his face and a drenched duffel bag hanging from the crook of his arm. 

"Jesus, Bin," Woojin sighs as Changbin closes the door behind him and drops his bag in a puddle on the floor. For once, neither Chan nor Woojin scold him for it, seemingly assuming he's been punished enough by the rain. 

"I almost made it?" Changbin tries, lopsided smile still on his face. "I ran halfway, but--" he cuts himself off with a yawn, to which Jisung responds with a yawn of his own. 

"Okay, just--I'm glad you weren't out for too long," Chan sighs, patting Changbin's shoulder hesitantly. "You," he points sternly at Changbin, "and you, too," he pauses and points at Jisung, too, "both of you go to bed." 

"And take a shower and change, Changbin!" Woojin calls after Changbin as he pads off down the hallway, trailing water droplets behind him as he goes. Jisung is a little slower, taking a minute to get off the stool and drag himself down the hallway. 

"You sure you're okay, Ji?" Chan asks again, jogging to catch up with him when he's halfway down the hallway. He has a handful of strawberries in his palm--they're small and Chan's got big hands, so he's got seven or eight of them clutched in there. Jisung would have laughed if he hadn't been half-dead. 

"Yeah," Jisung responds after a few beats, rubbing his eyes when he reaches his door. "Just," he cuts off to yawn again, "tired." 

"Okay," Chan says hesitantly as he pulls the door open, "you don't have to be up till one tomorrow, so don't set an early alarm, okay?" 

Jisung nods before bidding Chan a tired good night and promptly falling asleep the second he gets into bed. Granted, he changes first--changes in the means that he pulls his shirt off and sticks himself under the blanket before he's dead asleep. 

The next time he wakes up is to Woojin shaking him gently, a stream of sunlight spilling through the closed blinds. Jeongin's bed is empty and neatly made up--the clock reads 11:53 AM. 

"Jisungie, I'm leaving, okay? Your vocal lesson's at one, so wake Changbin up before you leave. He doesn't have anything to go to, but make sure he's up and functioning before you head out." 

"Okay," Jisung yawns, rubbing his eyes loosely. Woojin leaves, then, and Jisung takes his time getting out of bed. The dorm being this quiet is strange, since he's usually never one of the ones who gets to sleep late. So he also takes his time getting ready--showering, brushing his teeth, shoving on clothes he hopes are clean, and then heading to Changbin's room to wake him up and head out. 

The moment Jisung sees Changbin is the moment he realizes Changbin no longer holds the title of 'Keeping it Somewhat Together.' 

Because Changbin's fast asleep on top of his made bed, shivering in damp clothes that are obviously the ones he'd gotten rained out in yesterday, with stringy hair that's obviously not because of the shower he'd very obviously not taken before falling asleep last night. 

So basically Jisung's not surprised when he reaches out, feels Changbin's cheek, and curses under his breath when he recognizes the fact that the heat radiating from his skin is not normal. 

"Oh my God, you absolute fucking idiot," Jisung groans, feeling the collar of his shirt to maybe convince himself that the clothes aren't actually what he'd worn yesterday and really, Changbin had showered and changed last night. 

To no avail. The shirt, having had no time to properly dry, is still wet, and his jeans are still sticking to his skin with rainwater. 

"You have got to be kidding me," Jisung rubs his temples exasperatedly. "You're supposed to be the sensible one, you moron!" 

Then again, Changbin's stupidity chip had to have come around one of these days. It's probably karma for the number of times Changbin has had to clean up after Jisung's stupidity chip mess. 

"Oh for fuck's sake, now what am I supposed to do with you?" Jisung moans, flopping down on the edge of the bed and dropping his head in his hands. Fine. Okay. He can do this. He's a mature 18-year-old--he's an adult now, he can totally deal with this. 

He checks his watch. 12:29 PM. Okay. If he hurries, he might be able to manipulate the lump of Changbin into working with him. Okay. So step one is getting him awake. 

Jisung figures splashing water in his face is not the right way to go about this, so he swallows the disgust and goes about waking Changbin up painstakingly slowly and nauseatingly sweetly. 

"Changbin-hyung," Jisung says softly, shaking Changbin's shoulder. "I need you to wake up for me." 

It only takes him about five minutes of constant prodding before Changbin mumbles something and blinks his eyes open. It takes him a moment to squint hazily at Jisung, and then another to let out a loud, long-suffering groan. 

"There we go!" Jisung claps his hands together cheerfully, "Wonderful. Now, let's see if I can make you walk." 

Walking is a far-fetched dream. Getting Changbin to even sit up is dreadful work. He moans every second he gets, mumbling out barely understandable complains. Jisung catches something about grapes--he's really hoping he just heard wrong and Changbin isn't delirious. He cannot deal with that right now. He has half a mind to just leave Changbin there, but then he'll just feel awful all day and Woojin will beat his ass when he gets home. 

When Jisung finally manages to get Changbin to sit up, he hangs his head and flops into a potato. "Don't feel good," is what Jisung thinks he says, all slurred up like he's drunk. 

"Yeah, I would assume not," Jisung says, pursing his lips.

He tries, really hard, for the next five minutes to get Changbin to move his legs so he can walk him to the shower. He's fully aware he's not going to be on time to his vocal lesson. He'll just have to text his manager and let him know he'll be running a little late and he's going to have to wait outside for a bit. 

But Changbin is the least amount of cooperative possible. Jisung's almost ready to assume he's doing everything in his power to willfully not listen to him. 

"Look, hyung, as much as I would love to carry you to the shower, you're a heck ton heavier than me and I can't pick you up. Please, just help me out here," Jisung sighs defeatedly, sitting back on his haunches. He's moved to kneel on the floor next to Changbin's bed in order to persuade him further, but it doesn't seem to be working. 

Changbin, to his credit, really does try to help after that. Jisung doesn't know if that's instinctual or he actually felt bad, but he'll take what he can get. So yes, walking a groaning, feverish Changbin to the shower is a slow, infuriating task, but Jisung does it. 

"Can you stand?" Jisung asks when they're finally in the bathroom and Changbin's sitting on the closed toilet lid. Changbin pauses for a few seconds, rubbing his temples wearily before nodding faintly. 

"Are you...sure?" Jisung eyes Changbin disbelievingly. The way his hands are shaking is definitely not very convincing. 

Changbin nods again, hands moving slowly to pull his shirt over his head. He stays seated while he undresses, seemingly saving his energy for the amount of time he'll have to spend standing in the shower. 

"Cold," he mutters, once his torso is exposed and he's reaching to undo his jeans. Jisung grimaces as he watches Changbin shiver and moves to turn the water on.

"I know, I'm sorry," Jisung says softly as the water heats up. "You want me to stay or close the door?" 

"Stay," Changbin stands up, fully undressed except for his boxers. "I don't--" he gestures to the shower, voice broken. 

"Alright." Jisung watches Changbin use the wall as he walks to the shower, pulling the curtain back slowly. "I'm--gonna grab you clothes and a towel, okay? Sit if you need to, I'll be back in a minute. Yell if you need something." 

When Changbin nods faintly again, Jisung sprints out of the bathroom to grab a sweatshirt and a towel from the closet. To be honest, he's not sure who's clothes he grabs. But being that Changbin fits the smallest size after him, whatever he wears won't be too small on him. So Jisung heads back to the bathroom with a sweatshirt and a pair of sweatpants over his arm, and a towel slung over his shoulder. 

"You okay, hyung?" Jisung calls softly once he's back in the bathroom. He gets a raspy confirmation, so he waits on the counter for Changbin to finish in the shower so he can hand him the clothes. 

Once Changbin's out and dressed, Jisung sits him down on the sofa in the living room and presses the back of his hand against his forehead. The heat hasn't dissipated in the slightest, though Changbin's shivering the smallest bit less now that he's dressed warmer. Jisung's scrubbed his hair as dry as he possibly could have with a towel.

He rummages through the medicine counter for the thermometer, finding it tucked neatly between the painkillers and the stomach relaxers. For now, Jisung grabs the fever reducers--it's the only thing he's mostly sure about, and the painkillers have been out for months. None of them remember to ever get it refilled or pick more up from the pharmacy. Oh well. Jisung will pick up more on the way back home, or call Minho and tell him to get them on his way back. 

Changbin lets Jisung stick the metal device under his tongue willingly. Jisung's suspicions are confirmed when he looks at the numbers--Changbin is running a fever, and a pretty high one at that. 

"You're such an idiot, oh my God," Jisung sighs, passing him two bright orange tablets and watching him wince as he dry swallows him. "You're an even bigger idiot than me, you know that?" 

"You flatter me," Changbin rasps, tucking his arms around himself and curling his legs up under him. He's become the slightest bit more awake now that he's showered and hopefully more comfortable. 

"Idiot-hyung. Stupid-hyung. Dumb egghead idiotic pickled frog toe-hyung," Jisung mutters, scrubbing a hand down his face wearily. 

"Pickled-frog toe?" Changbin asks quietly at the same time Jisung decides, "I have to take you with me. I don't trust you not to die with no one home." 

Changbin, surprisingly, doesn't object to that. Jisung's got a sneaking suspicion that he's not very keen on being left alone, either. Changbin likes attention even when he's not sick, so Jisung's assuming that's going to be amplified now that he's idiotically given himself a bout of the flu. 

"Okay, but," Jisung says as he's helping Changbin into the car and smiling apologetically at his manager for making him wait half an hour, "do you realize the level of idiocracy you've reached right now? Like, how dumb do you have to be, hyung? Seriously?" 

Changbin somehow manages to look pitiful enough to make Jisung feel bad and lay off the scolding. He figures he'll do that when Changbin isn't making sad puppy eyes at him and shivering though he's got a jacket on over a sweatshirt. 

Changbin is stupid. Changbin is an idiot. Changbin is a hyung and honestly, he's supposed to be the most sensible of the four especially since he's lasted this long without letting his stupidity chip control his life. Goddamnit, couldn't Changbin have waited at least another year before that happening? And it would be a lot more efficient if Changbin picked a day where they were all off. 

Jisung thinks he gets why Changbin doesn't see him as younger now. Because Changbin is an idiotic dumb egghead hyung who can't take care of himself and--

"Have a good day, guys," their manager says once he pulls up to the JYP building and the van doors slide open. 

"Thank you," Jisung climbs out of his own seat before he helps Changbin out of the car. 

One good thing about having an invalid clinging on to him is that he gets lots of pitiful stares and no one pushes him angrily out of the elevator when he storms on last second. He can't exactly see Changbin's face from the position in which the older is clinging on to Jisung's shoulders, but he's assuming Changbin looks miserable from the sympathetic looks he's received from the staff, from the couple of idols they've walked past, and even from the pictures on the wall. 

(Seriously, Jisung swears that Michael Jackson portrait is melting under Changbin's sad puppy dog eyes too.) 

"Okay!" Jisung announces, prying Changbin off of him and putting him on the studio couch. His vocal lesson started an hour ago, but he's praying the teacher won't kill him since he's got a valid excuse. 

"My lesson is two rooms down the hall, okay? Stay on this goddamn couch and don't move your butt off of it, hyung. Got it?" Jisung points to the couch. Changbin glares at him, but he gives up and nods eventually, curling into himself and snaking his arms out of the sleeves and into his sweatshirt. 

"If I come back and you're not in here so help me God--" 

"Go," Changbin rasps exasperatedly. Can one even sound raspy and exasperated? Jisung knows he heard exasperation in that one syllable somewhere. 

"Stay," Jisung calls over his shoulder, "Good boy." 

And then he races off to his vocal lesson, and boy does his ass get beat despite his pleading that he'd been late for a good cause. 

(Not really, his rap instructor only gives him disappointed stares the entire lesson, but the disappointment is worse than having gotten his ass beat. Jisung would've much preferred the ass beating. He can't stand disappointment.)

To make it worse, his vocal lesson stays half an hour past its dues because one, he'd been late, and two, for some reason he can't seem to get his flow right today. Eventually his teacher lets him go--with disappointed eyes and a plea for Jisung to work on flow before his next class on Saturday. 

Jisung doesn't bother explaining that it isn't his flow that's the problem, but the fact that there's this--this giant overgrown feverish _thing_ on his couch that needs his attention and _no_ JIsung is not _worried_ , he's just extremely inconvenienced. 

Changbin hasn't moved since Jisung left him. He's in the exact same position he'd been in two hours ago--actually Jisung has to prod him a couple of times to make sure he isn't dead before he moves to the moniter and attaches his hard drive to get some work done. It's weird--somehow he's still tired. Despite having slept many hours. He's tired. 

About half an hour into the studio being dead silent, Jisung learns that keeping a feverish, flu-ridden Changbin around is quite possibly the most infuriating thing he's ever inflicted upon himself in his eighteen years of living. 

It goes something like this: 

"Jisung?" 

"What?" 

"I'm hungry." 

And then Jisung remembers that he has to feed Changbin, too--and while the choice he makes isn't the best one, he figures wafers and potato chips from the vending machine is a better option than leaving Changbin hungry. 

"Jisung?" 

"Hm." 

"My head hurts." 

And then Jisung has to rummage around in his bag to see if he has any sort of pain relieving medicine--which, thank God, he finds buried in his extra sweatshirt in a nearly empty bottle--but the process of finding it takes him an entire twenty minutes. 

"Jisung?" 

"Now what?" 

"I'm bored." 

"You're gonna have to figure that one out on your own, bud, sorry," Jisung shrugs, giving Changbin a half-smile. 

"Jisung." 

Jisung grits his teeth and turns around for the fourth time in the past half hour. 

"Yes, hyung?" 

"Never mind." Changbin sinks further into the couch, playing with the edge of the hoodie he's wearing. He looks kind of like a marshmallow with the number of layers he's got on--but somehow, he's still shivering. 

Jisung kind of feels bad, and he almost asks what Changbin wants when his phone rings and cuts off his chain of thought. It's Jeongin. 

Jisung sighs and picks up the phone. "What?" 

 _"Really feeling the love, hyung,"_ Jeongin says from the other end of the phone. Jisung sighs exasperatedly again and hits pause on the track he'd been blasting.

"What do you need, Innie?" 

_"Woojin-hyung told me to ask you if you woke Changbin-hyung up this morning."_

Jisung stifles a laugh into his sleeve. "Yeah, I woke him up." 

_"Great. Is hyung at home then?"_

"No," Jisung says heavily, eyeing Changbin, "he's with me." 

_"...Why?"_

"You can tell Woojin-hyung that this disgraceful idiot of a hyung went to sleep in his drenched clothes and woke up with a 102 degree fever. Bye!"

Jisung gets a decent amount done in the next hour. Too much done. Too much, because there have been zero interruptions from Changbin--which definitely means he's dead. There's no other explanation. Jisung turns his chair around slowly--to find Changbin definitely not dead, cuddled into himself as much as possible and braiding the loose fringes of his hoodie. Or Chan's honestly. Or maybe it's Hyunjin's. 

"Are you okay?" Jisung asks finally, looking Changbin up and down. 

Changbin looks up from his hoodie. Jisung really wonders whether the pout he's holding is simply because he's not feeling good, or because he's trying to purposely gain Jisung's pity. Either way, it's working, and Jisung feels utterly betrayed. 

"Cold," Changbin coughs finally, dropping the braided fringe and pulling his hands up into his sleeves. 

"You're wearing like, four layers," Jisung says, but all Changbin does is shrug and continue to shiver in the corner of the couch. "How has your fever not broken yet?" Jisung wonders aloud as he gets up and walks over, pressing his hand against the older's cheek again. 

"We need to find new fever reducers," Jisung shakes his head before sinking down on the couch next to Changbin.

"Come on," Jisung sighs, lifting his arm up. It's scary how quickly Changbin fits himself into Jisung's side and curls up against him, especially from the number of times he's rejected doing that exact thing. 

Jisung sits like that for a while, eventually turning around and pulling Changbin into a full hug, rubbing his back gently and letting him rest his head on Jisung's shoulder. He can feel the heat radiating off the older even through his multiple layers, which is worrisome enough beyond the fact that Changbin likes to avoid skinship with Jisung just to annoy him. 

"You're feeling that bad, huh?" Jisung laughs softly, clasping his arms around Changbin properly. He doesn't get a response, but Changbin's refusal to pull away is enough of an answer. 

"As much as this is your fault because you're an idiot," Jisung says finally, resting his chin on Changbin's head, "still sucks that you're sick." 

"Paralyzing you," Changbin breathes out finally, though he makes no move to pull away.

"It's okay," Jisung shrugs softly. "You were distracting me anyways." 

"Yeah, well, I don't like you," Changbin croaks out. 

Jisung shakes his head fondly. "First of all, I don't like me either. You're not special. Second of all, that doesn't have nearly the same effect when your voice is half gone. Third of all, you're wearing two jackets and you're still shivering, so it's either me or the cold. Your pick." 

"..you." 

"That's what I thought." 

Jisung actually becomes immobile when Changbin decides to fall asleep on him, leaving him unable to move and stranded on the couch with a heater lump attached to him. A very sick heater lump. 

Chan and Minho walk into the studio room later with worry evident on both their faces. Well, until they see the position Jisung's in, and then they walk back out to laugh for ten minutes in the hallway before walking back in solemnly. 

"He was cold," is all Jisung says to explain his position. 

Chan shakes his head fondly. "You want me to take him home?" 

"Please," Jisung begs, "I'm going numb." 

And Chan, who's in an unspoken manner way stronger than Jisung, untangles their limbs and piggybacks sleeping Changbin all the way home. 

And Jisung? 

Jisung just prays hugging Changbin didn't magically transfer the fever on to him. 

Impractical to think and completely inevitable that it will, but hey. Wishful thinking.

When Changbin gets better, he remembers one thing and one thing only from the entire experience. 

"Wait a second, Jisung--did you call me a pickled frog toe?" 

Which gets bales and bales of laughter from the rest of the dorm, a very confused Felix, and a very unhelpful Chan trying to translate pickled frog toe into English. 

"Pickled frog toe," Jisung says, confidently in English this time, and then shakes his head defeatedly. "Just doesn't have the same effect in English, sorry guys."   


("Should I be worried that you know how to say pickled frog toe in English?"

"Insults are a universal language, Chan-hyung.")

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm so sorry it's been so long what the heck i am awful but i had the worst writer's block all month and then exams started. i'm actually procrastinating studying for english right now so that's fun but i hope you enjoyed this mess!  
> please let me know what you thought, kudos and comments are super appreciated :D

**Author's Note:**

> Is damn a curse word? Let me know, please.  
> Kudos and comments if you enjoyed, thanks!  
> Tumblr: @hjsracha, Twitter: @hxnjxsngg  
> Have a great week!


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